I am sitting here late on a Sunday evening with a glass of wine, a trendy water bottle, my laptop and a mound of textbooks, notebooks and pens. That’s right folks, I have finally gone back to school! It’s only been over a decade since I last ventured into the in-class world of formal education…no big deal.
Truthfully, I have wanted to go back to school for some time, but there was always a cleverly-timed excuse. Here were my list of reasons NOT to go back just yet:
- I don’t know what I want to do with my life (um, hello! That’s why you go to school).
- I can’t afford it (there are hundreds of bursaries, grants and other financial assistance that helps people go back to school).
- I can’t work AND go to school (I think there are millions of people that would beg to differ).
- I am pregnant and will be having the baby in the middle of the semester…(okay well that’s a good one).
Those were my big reasons and as you can see, the reality is they were all very poor excuses. That being said, there is something to be said about timing. I obviously was not ready to go back yet because I didn’t make it happen. There was a lot holding me back and not much driving me forward. Then I started this blog.
My intention for this blog initially was to get myself healthy again: Mind, Body AND Spirit. For the first time in a LONG time I was thinking of myself and what I needed to be well. In the process, I came across thousand of quotes (as seen above), pictures, memes, websites, books, etc. that led me to believe that I had been looking for more in my life. I was looking for more of myself. A direction in which to put myself so that I would continue to strive for knowledge and new experiences.
A few of the people that know me best suggested I consider taking a course or two to figure out which direction I wanted to go. Looking back, I am sure that they were thinking that “direction” would be toward a new hobby or lifestyle that would leave me feeling fulfilled. To me, that meant combining things that I was passionate about and making money at it.
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
~ Nelson Mandela
After beginning this site, my photography business led me to stumbling into web design and social media marketing. I learned as I went and continued to add more to my skill-set, but I wanted more. I wanted to build something.
I wanted to build something from scratch that not everyone is able to do.
I wanted to combine my passions for photography and food and be paid to do it.
I wanted to be able to do the same thing for my clients.
I wanted to go back to school.
My first class in my Digital Production, Writing & Design program was this past Thursday. I survived.
I was sweating bullets on my way to class. I am over 30 and I still felt nervous. I have gone through childbirth and still I wondered if I could handle it. “Why oh why am I doing this?” was the question that kept rolling around in my head before, during and after my class was finished. This was supposed to be my easy class, but it was clear that it was going to be a lot of work.
After more than a decade away, you can imagine, that even though I am attending the same college I went to previously, there are some significant changes.
- I am old: I am not the oldest in my classes by far, but it is obvious that most of my classmates are a decade or more my juniors.
- Everything is submitted online: In the description of the class it claimed “some online portion” of the class. Apparently this means that even though I have to drive over an hour to attend the class for two hours a week, there is twice that amount of time spent online preparing and submitting discussions, quizzes, final papers, etc. (not to mention the homework…eek). When I went to this school previously, they had JUST started online registration. Sigh.
- I give a crap: It is painfully obvious to me as I submit my first assignment a day early and then study for the quiz a week from now, that I care about the outcome of this class. I always thought that I was a learned lady and that my experience having gone to college before had led me to where I was. Now I realize that I didn’t want it bad enough to get the straight A’s I could have gotten by simply showing up to my classes. I didn’t want it bad enough to finish. Thankfully a decade away has shown me how badly I want this now.
My days and nights for the next two years will most likely have a chapter to read, an assignment to finish or a mountain of notes to write, along with running my business, cleaning dirty diapers and singing ridiculous songs to make a little person giggle, but I am happy to say that I finally feel like I am ready for this. Ready for it all.